People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
from now on my penis is your penis
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
this is an emotional support booty call
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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