I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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