Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
