proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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