So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
