Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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