i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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