i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dick very happy bro
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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