Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
