Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
