I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
