Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
