that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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