it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
