she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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