Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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