Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
