Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
