there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
