I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize