I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
