from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
