What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
