How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
