a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
