He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
