Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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