I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
