am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
