I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
