fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
