Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
