the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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