I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
