I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
