Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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