you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize