You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is wine microwaveable?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
