that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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