is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
