Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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