once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
