I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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