I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
