She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize