I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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