Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
