I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
