i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
