Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
