Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
