chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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