My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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