I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
