Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize