Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
