New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
