that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
