Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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