i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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