Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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