I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize