Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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