Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
