Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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