Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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