The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
