wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So apparently I’m into choking now
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